作者：易千钧 在 海归酒吧 发贴, 来自【海归网】 http://www.haiguinet.com
这个烂设置，加红部分显示不出来，只好请大家将就了
A 64-year-old American has been living in <place><city>Chongqing</city></place> since 2001 without any medical insurance
这里，我不理解你为什么用have+been+doing，而不用have+done时态。你需要强调你一直在重庆生活这个动作吗？
At the ages of 54, I retired in April 2001 from a US Fortune 500 company in <place><city>San Francisco</city></place>. According to <country>US</country> law, I was given an 18-month medical coverage if I pay what my company used to pay for me to CIGNA, one of the largest <place><country>US</country></place> insurance companies.
更正：At the ages of 54, …from a US Fortune 500 company …。去掉s，a改为an。According to US law, I was given an 18-month medical coverage if I pay what my company used to pay for me to CIGNA, …。 to US law 中间加 the，变成 to the US law。后面的红字部分改为 I was offered an 18-month medical coverage and it was from CIGNA, one of the largest US insurance companies. For this coverage, I was required to pay fees to the CIGNA during my retirement
It was frequently reported that US insurance companies treat individual policyholders much worse than their group policyholders for obvious reasons and I was given a hard time on my reimbursement right after I became an individual policyholder. I therefore cancelled my policy.
开头加个however，是不是读起来更顺畅一些而不至于显得生硬？在and I was given里加个indeed，变成and indeed I was given是不是显得更强调所述属实些？
You may think I must be in good health.
As a matter of fact, I took early retirement just because of my physical conditions. How could I live without any medical coverage?
开头加个but，不用I took early retirement，而用I retired earlier，结尾用?!
However, CIGNA charged me US$500/month at that time and I BET I would not spend that much on medical in <place><country>China</country></place>!
这里用however比较奇怪，我会使用moreover。这里的medical是名词吗？若不是，则用medical care。
Now that I am 10 months away from US Medicare and I have been hospitalized at least 10 times for about 700 days (yes, 700, not a typo!) since 2001 with less than RMB 100K (about US$1500/yr) total medical spending (I deducted RMB 800/mth rent because I LIVED in hospital without having to rent.)
You might say I must have my medical service at some shabby places.
The answer is I have had 99% medical services with the best and largest hospital in <city><place>Chongqing</place></city>, namely First Affiliated Hospital of Chongqing Medical University. Since 2003, I have been renting my apartment just one bus stop from the hospital intentionally. Moreover, I have been taking Norvasc, the absolutely most popular drug for hypertension, made by Pfizer, everyday for more than 10 yrs!
The answer 不如改为 the truth。我会使用I have rent 而不是 I have been renting。Just one bus stop away from，中间要加away。
You would then say, John, you are Chinese American, but I cannot speak Chinese.
a Chinese American，加a吧
While you may have to bring an English-speaking Chinese friend with you for outpatient services, in case you have to be hospitalized, the above hospital has two entire floors serving foreigners only (Since they do not have that many foreign patients yet, they now also take Chinese patients.) The doctors and nurses there all speak English (Many had training from US, <country>UK</country>, <place><country>Singapore</country></place>, etc.)
has two entire floors for serving foreigners only，加for。要么说 many had been trained from … 要么说many had received training from …，而不说many had training from …
Must be very expensive, then?
这是口语化的表达吧
Not at all. This was why I stayed there for 700 days!
Except for the room charge, everything else is priced the same as elsewhere in the same hospital. Never any additional charge for foreigners!
我常看到no more additional/extra charge，never any additional charge我第一次看到
The single room with air con, fully-equipped bathroom, 24-hour hot/cold tap water, etc. was for only RMB100/day (I paid RMB 75/day due to my extended stay.) Eight yrs later, the foreigner floors moved twice to new buildings and the price has gone up understandably: RMB 330/day, still much cheaper than the coastal cities of <country><place>China</place></country>, let alone the Western world!
There are two elevators going to the two floors (<chmetcnv>20F</chmetcnv> & <chmetcnv>21F</chmetcnv>) directly non-stop.
If you still think the room charge is too high, you might want to share with another patient on <chmetcnv>20F</chmetcnv>, then the price will get a free fall: RMB 60/day. (Note that you cannot pay RMB 120/day to occupy the entire room.)
Last question: John, how much you get paid by writing this article?
How much do you get paid，少了一个助动词do
A: I called them to verify the room charge and they said they are extremely busy these days because ordinary Chinese become richer and richer. Therefore, you may want to call them to make sure they do have room for you!
John Peng
看完全文，感觉中叔更擅长于口头表达。英语文书方面，最近我研究过TOEFL和GMAT，它们强调语言要简洁明确。所以流行的趋势是，能用动词就不用名词，更尽量不要用there be这些句型。我的新toefl成绩，写作27，阅读29。相信可以作证。
作者：易千钧 在 海归酒吧 发贴, 来自【海归网】 http://www.haiguinet.com
