If you think you know western culture, do you know how many couple do not have kids, they are very happy if they are soul mate. I think 能生孩子 is more eastern culture. looks like you want have both for your marrage (sour mate and 能生孩子), that is why someone say it is very hard. if you really want marrage, pick a better one from your list, since you have one or create one using all your resource.
