Children who have strong sense of identity and once that is not related to their order of birth in the family, will have a better chance of avoiding the middle child syndrome. Some important things that moms and dads can do to help ensure that their child has this sense of identity are listed below.
Finding Talent and Gifts
Help your middle child find her own unique gifts and talents. Children who have opportunities to excel in any area will be much more likely to feel good about themselves and their place in the family, as well as in the world.
Expect Individuality
Don’t expect your middle child to like the same things as your older child, or to excel in the same areas. Allow your middle child to be unique. Resist the temptation to “compare” children, or to encourage the middle child to be “like” an older brother or sister. (When Johnny was your age he...)
Likewise, don’t allow your middle child to compare herself with older siblings either. Stress the idea that they aren’t in competition with brothers and sisters, and don’t need to try to be “as good as” them at anything.
Special Days
Have “special” days for each of your children. Designate one day of the week as “Johnny’s day” another as “Mary’s” and another as “Bobby’s.” Giving children this individual attention lets them know they are special to you, and to the family as a whole. On your child’s special day allow her to choose what your family watches on TV, what you will have for dinner, etc.