| 作者 |
 关于生活方式选择的250见解.美国生活常识系列(六) 气质.圈子与生活方式的选择 |
 |
| 所跟贴 |
关于VALUE, BELIEVE,SOCIETY, AND GROUP, 你的观点自然有你的道理 -- Who - (238 Byte) 2005-12-25 周日, 22:00 (358 reads) |
250
[博客]
[个人文集]
头衔: 海归中将
声望: 学员
加入时间: 2005/06/06
文章: 5263
来自: 外星
海归分: 664766
|
|
|
作者：250 在 海归商务 发贴, 来自【海归网】 http://www.haiguinet.com
i believe this is something for almost everyone, and not limited to just immigrants from china to overseas, but from remote china to urban china too.
on发one hand, your value system is a solid base. your new life experiences and the poeple you come in contact with are widening up your points of views, when you are exposed to new and different values.
the younger age you are at, the more you can accept or even adapt to the different values, especially when you are now physically in the life style culctural surroundings of the value where it is derived.
but this is all about the society and the value that you come to explore about during your physical migration and drfiter between the different societies and thus different value systems. you definitely need to change and adapt or you will be in deep trouble. this is not really something of your own choice, when the migration was your choice. you have to change yourself and to form a new value system for yourself. before i left china, a german freidn told me: don't be concerned about if it is chinese or american, whatever works just take it and use it. this has been working out fine for me.
even on this subject, have no sense of belonging means someone in a society without no identity. this is how you feel for now, as it does nto bother you. we will see how long would this stay. this would be too phylosophical to get into a debate for. so we will set it aside.
what i was talking about in the post up there, was totally different from this.
i was referring to a small circle where you are connected to other members of the group who share somewhat the same value, and you feel right at home when among them, you will not be concerned about being appropriate because the protocol here is set for someone else who do not really share the same value.
now that small circle is a close door community. not everyone has a membership to such a small circle at all the time.
in conclusion, when you talk about being part of society, we have been talking about the same thing. but if you are also referring to the small circle i was referring to, what i was trying to say was: it is not up to you to open up your mind, the others in that small circle would have to do the same too.
sometimes it is not about being open mind, if you do not share the same value system, the physical presence being there among them do not offer any comfort.this is like a priavte club.
here is one example (i hate to mention religious stuff but here i have to) i study zen but i do not believe in the religion. i did not want to offend anyone every time when i was present at a temple to appreciate the science and arts in an classical architecture of such, people were always very friendly, but i was never ready to be accepted as a member. same goes with the cathlic/christian churches.
another example, no offense, if you and i become a neighbor to each other. i will be polite, i may invite you offer for a dinner, and i will be open minded to understand your religion, your culutre, your special background to understand your value, but guess what, that does not necessarily mean i would take you into my small circle, nor would that mean you are ready to take me as a close personal friend. we can social
politely to follow the same protocol, but i would always be polite and thus not open enough to share with you completely and freely on my ture thoughts, until we can identify a solid common ground.
in short, i am not exactly sure that we are discussing about the same thing, but i am OPEN to a further discussion.
you may have had a circle of your own but either eveyrone in that circle changed or you changed, so the circle does not exist any more just a friend pointed out as the first respond to my post which i totally appreciate: i had the same experiences one time with someone knew from very younf age. so i know what he was talkign about.
but then when you have a very small and closed circle of personal friends connected by same or similar background or substential common ground on mutal interests/experiences
whatever......when you were all somewhat matured, not play mates any more, then as longas you were all progressing in the same world and updated yourself, that is something hard to be taken away.
but then, not everyone has that at the same level.
as far as i am concerned, when among those friends, i always felt right at home and at ease, interesting and so enjoyable. of course the size of the small circle often increase with new members arriving, who share same values to a certain degree with a certain proportion....
you are right: i do have a very strong sense of belonging and i treasure every minute of the time being among my kind. it may not be politically correct, but we are all human beings. not much we can do about it either. that was the point why i would want to retire back to be among the familiar circle.
for some, coming to here, get a house or two, buy some nice cars, live in an american dream may cover it all.
for others, this could be been there and done that scenario
and already see it all through. well, not all may ever come to this point.
this is very personal experience too: if you are all that comfortable with either many here not in any specific social group and small circle, or feeling very comfortable to be among them as the way it is (without reference to compare to as ever having had more comfortable experiences)
then we are not talking about the same experience and group. as for myself, after almost 20 years being in this country, i have no prob to fit in the society, i believe i know the culture enough to decide i have not found my own special place here.just live like another american is way not enough for me. there is nothing wrong in that all by itself. but where i came from, i need more. there is nothing in material can represent that. only the people with same value would have such need. it is not a prob to all.
作者：250 在 海归商务 发贴, 来自【海归网】 http://www.haiguinet.com
|
|
|
| 返回顶端 |
|
 |
|
| |
|
|
|
您不能在本论坛发表新主题, 不能回复主题, 不能编辑自己的文章, 不能删除自己的文章, 不能发表投票, 您 不可以 发表活动帖子在本论坛, 不能添加附件不能下载文件, |
|
|
